


Your soul's unbreakable

by shinycrash



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, OT4, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:48:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28694205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinycrash/pseuds/shinycrash
Summary: He hides. He hides and he cries so much that by the end of the day he feels hollow.The emptiness inside him only makes his sobs resonate more, an echo of pain that feeds itself, growing louder and louder.Or, Bokuto has a depressive episode and his lovers help him get better.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 7
Kudos: 92





	Your soul's unbreakable

On most days, Koutarou is both a storm and a beacon in the lives of those that know him.

Bright, unstoppable. Unbreakable.

But there are certain days when Koutarou wakes up and everything around him just seems wrong. As if someone took the entire universe and slightly tilted it, leaving only him behind. 

It could be unnoticeable, it should be. It's an imperceptible shift, but Koutarou feels out of place. 

Everyone has a purpose. He feels he has none. 

People plan their future, make decisions, think ahead. He does not.

Life around him moves in ways he cannot comprehend. He cannot bring himself to go anywhere.

A star that has lost its sense of direction. 

Rather than living with his inadequacy, it would be easier to just not exist. 

And so he does. 

He pretends not to be there, or anywhere, really. 

If he doesn't exist, he doesn't have to make decisions. 

If he doesn't exist, there is no possibility of disappointing anyone.

He hides. He hides and he cries so much that by the end of the day he feels hollow.

The emptiness inside him only makes his sobs resonate more, an echo of pain that feeds itself, growing louder and louder. 

  
  
  


This is how they find him, when they come home from work. 

He’s in a minuscule space, between the wardrobe and the cold wall of their bedroom. Curled up in a ball on the floor, swimming in a sweater that looks too big even for his body. Red-rimmed eyes that make no emotion transpire.

"Hey love. It's me, Tetsu", he kneels in front of Koutarou, "Would you like to take a warm bath? Keiji and Kenma are preparing you one right now".

Koutarou had not realised how cold he was until he felt Tetsurou's hands on his. 

Yes, warmth sounded nice.

He is picked up by his lover and carried in the bathroom, where the other two have lit up some candles, the sole source of light in the room. 

Koutarou's tired eyes are thankful. 

Undressed, enveloped by the warmth of the water and by the softness of the honey and lavender vapours mixing in the air, he feels himself coming back to reality. 

  
  


Keiji's fingers are massaging his scalp, he's humming something in his ear that Koutarou vaguely registers as a song they've danced to together, some time in the past. 

The memory is suddenly very vivid, of Kenma flying around, safely held in Tetsu's arms, of Keiji laughing at them, swaying his hips with his back pressed on Koutarou's chest. 

He remembers the heat, the joy, the pleasure that life can give him sometimes. He remembers _them_. 

The reminiscing accompanied by the gentle touches of his lovers lulls him into safe slumber. 

When Koutarou opens his eyes again he is in bed, and this time the universe falls exactly into place. Three loving pairs of eyes look at him, and he knows what happiness feels like.

His body is resting on Tetsurou, delicate fingers running through his relaxed snowy locks. 

Lips. Lips are touching Koutarou's hands; he looks down to find Keiji leaving a trace of soft kisses on his skin. 

"We're here for you, Kou", Kenma's voice is a soothing balm for his soul. "We know that you're strong on your own, but sometimes you forget just how amazing you are."

"That's why we want to remind you", Keiji's kisses on his hands are setting his skin alight, "that you're invincible".

"I'm sorry", Koutarou utters his first words that day.

Suddenly, tears are staining his cheeks, but Tetsurou is there to drown him in kisses, so much that a few salty drops are not enough to bother him.

"Nothing to be sorry about. Let us help you remember."

  
  


And they do. They help him with secrets whispered in his ears and gentle caresses on every inch of his skin. 

And he remembers. Their presence is enough to sear into his brain the feeling that he is alive for a reason. He is alive, he wants to be alive.

  
  
  


Sometimes, stars forget what they are. 

Their light seems to dim, they don’t know how to navigate.

But the brightest stars are impossible to forget, and those who have been guided by them before, still know how to sail. 

Keiji, Kenma and Tetsurou have the brightest star of the firmament at the center of their universe. Whenever they were lost, he was always there, burning for them. 

Flooding everything with light, so that they could always find the path to come back home.

Now, when their star forgets, they are ready to remind him just how special his light is.


End file.
